Alone in a Desolate Sea of People

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

As a manly man from the South, it’s hard to admit that I’m lonely. I don’t think I could utter those words to someone else. It’s not that I don’t have people around me, I do. As I reveal more about me in days and weeks to come, you will find that I’m surrounded by people and predominantly women. Sadly, that does not impact the loneliness.

My search for a companion is gaining clarity, but finding that compatible lost sole in this massive sea of deception is both daunting and exhausting, I am looking for a purely authentic, unwaveringly honest (at least with me), insanely adventurous, overly kind and stunningly beautiful woman who can challenge and inspire me to live my best life.

If I find her, I will give myself over to her as well as the world and all that’s in it. (As long she appreciates this gift and me.)

Oh, and she has to put up with me and be accepting of my baggage and relationship timelines. (More to come about that later.)

Is the description of what I want in a woman the rarest of unicorns?

Love Entry: #6 (Huge Update!)

When you last saw me, I was writing my blog. Sarah #1 was drunkly passed out in my bed and something bad may have happened to her. Fast forward to the next morning. I was up already on my computer working. She refused to tell me what really happened the night before. We did engage in a conversation that was somewhat awkward. (The conversation was probably premature and I think I handled it awfully.)

I have neglected to mention that in the next month Sarah #1, and I are supposed to travel on a 4 night excursion together. I’ve already bought her plane ticket. I tried, though very poorly, to explain that I don’t want drama, I don’t want lies, and I only want to chase after a woman that wants me to chase her. I think I failed miserably in getting my points across.

She did tell me, “I want you to chase after me.” She also said,” I was the most intriguing person she had met in a long time.” I have an uncanny ability (next level, scary mind reading type mentalist abilities) to tell when people are not being completely honest. Most people don’t believe me, but it is an incredible gift, it makes me highly effective at my job, and it’s an exhausting curse because people lie ALL THE TIME!

I think those 2 statements were mostly honest, but I know she’s not being honest about other things. Should I even care at this point? Here’s my problem. 1) I kinda like this girl. She fits a lot of what I’m looking for. 2) I’m not sure I can ever really trust her, as I don’t believe she can ever be 100% honest with me. (Insert massive sigh and slight dejectedness here!)

This is making me withdraw from her.. WHAT DO I DO?

ANY COMMENTS OR ADVICE???

4 Comments

  1. Question: why do men (in my experience) always have a “must be beautiful” into their expectations? Especially proceeded by a word like “stunningly”?

    I don’t know if I’m a cynic here but that image in my head, that men who are worthy their salt only want women who are “stunningly beautiful” among other lengthy similar characteristics makes me feel the opposite of beautiful. (Which is ridiculous since beauty is in the eye of the beholder and self-love and acceptance is crucial to one’s own mental and emotional health).

    Are non-stunningly beautiful women worthy of pursuit or a connection?

    We have this image in our head of what is considered stunningly beautiful, and honestly, few women I’ve met feel that way about themselves.

    Anyway it’s just a thought and I might blog about this myself. I have my own story to share about a man who admitted to be attracted to the femme fatale type, and after multiple of short-term girlfriends continues to look for “the one” among the same type. Doesn’t seem sustaining.

    Are looks (in the area of stunningly beautiful) a desire for men because they feel judged if one does not have a woman in that category on their arm in public and in their bed in private?

    It’s all very confusing.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Well, only a stunningly beautiful woman could write a post that completely disrupted my morning. I think I stood in the shower for 45 minutes thinking about your response. I both thank you, and I’m also mad at you. I really need to focus my full attention on my work.

      However, you have inspired and challenged me. That’s not easy to do. It’s been my experience, only a stunningly beautiful woman can do that. I know what my next entry will be about. Stay tuned.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Well I held back for years speaking my truth. I now try to speak my truth without sounding like an asshole, and I hope I didn’t come across that way.

        I was merely making an observation. I have a story to tell why, and how, I came to this observation but I’m not sure this place, on the open internet, is quite the right place for that.

        I understand that I disrupted you with my comment… I’m not sorry so I won’t apologize, but if we don’t open the dialogue over these things, then why bother blogging?

        I will definitely stay tuned. 😉

        Like

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