Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

Foreigner once sang, “I want to know what love is.” I found the perfect Love once, but in an instance it vanished. I will never forget our first date and our first kiss. Unbeknownst to me, the song that randomly played when it happened was one of her favorites. The irony of this song still hurts.

I’ll never forget the first night we made love. There was a funny moment when I put on a CD, (this ages me a bit) and she shook her head to let me know my music choice was wrong. She liked country, so Garth Brooks was her choice that night. My favorite song of Garth’s was The Dance. Again with the irony.

I’ll also never forget when they played her favorite song at her funeral. The same song that played during on first kiss. To this day I struggle to listen to that song. My memory of our Love is forever imprinted onto my soul.

I’m older. I’m wiser. I’ve failed in relationships. However I’m gaining clarity on what I want in a relationship, and it’s much different than what I wanted back then.

So here’s may new list:

• I want a soulmate who is uncompromisingly honest with me. Who never lies to me. Who I can count on like the sun rising in the East to tell me the truth.
• I want a soulmate who adores me, and I adore her. I want a soulmate who puts me on a pedestal and sits comfortably beside my on that same pedestal.
• I want a soulmate who can easily live with out me, but needs me to make her life complete. I want a woman who could survive without me but thrives with me.
• I want a soulmate who gets me, my idiosyncrasies, my crazy ideas, my humor and both understands and relishes what’s in my heart and soul.
• I want a soulmate who is sexual in the way that drives me insane, who is erotic, aggressive and crazy flirtatious and then other times submissive and demure.
• I want a soulmate who on occasion is not afraid to seduce me, and make me feel wanted, and likes to be wanted by me all the time.
• I want a soulmate who is authentically herself. She does not try and be someone she’s not for me or anybody else. She knows who she is and loves herself.
• I want a soulmate who loves adventure and when I say “I’m your Huckleberry,” she says, giddy up cowboy!”
• I want a soulmate who has spunk and feistiness and is not too predictable.
• I want a soulmate who doesn’t sweat the small stuff and keeps her eyes on the bigger picture.
• I want a soulmate who is affectionate and likes to touch me as much as I like to touch her.
• I want a soulmate who is smart and is impressive with her thoughts, views and ideas.

I will continue to add to this list, but that leads me to the obvious question. Is this asking for too much? Does this exist? Am I being realistic? Am I a person that attracts a woman like this? All this does is give me more questions than answers. To quote the Beatles, “All you need is Love.”

Love Entry #14

I’m working ridiculous amounts the next few days. I’ve had no time or opportunity to let the lion loose. However, I want to believe the woman of my dreams is close by. She and I are about to cross paths. Our destiny awaits.