The Slow Death of Romanticism

Please help guide me on my journey.

I live in the wrong era. I think I would’ve been better suited to live in the days of the Musketeers where honor, chivalry and romance were coveted and admired. There was a time when the gift of words like poetry were a symphony of romance to a woman’s ears, but today it’s often chastised as a laughable gesture.

I like holding the door for a woman to enter a building. I like opening the car door for a woman. This may sound completely crazy but on occasion when greeting someone I’ve been dating, I like softly taking her hand and kissing it. A women once told me that makes me “archaic.” I don’t do it because a woman is incapable or that they’re weaker, I do it out of respect and admiration and to show them how much I value them.

I believe when I’m walking with a woman, I should always stand between the woman and the street, just in case. I believe when we sleep at a hotel, I should always sleep closest to the door, just in case. I believe when dining at a restaurant, I should always sit facing the door, just in case. In my many years on this earth, none of these things were ever necessary, nor have I discussed them with women. However, chivalry and romance are not always acts to be announced. I will continue to do them, just in case…

I can reasonably afford to buy a woman whatever gift she wants within reason. I can easily send flowers which at times is a noble gesture, but in my mind has become cliché. However, on a recent date, a woman in her mid 30”s casually informed me that no one has given her flowers since high school. I was so floored by her statement that I sent her three dozen roses the next day, and I’m not even that interested in her. (I do like to make a splash though! Is that wrong?) It’s just a travesty that romanticism has lost its way.

There is one element of romance that caused a major failure with a woman I really liked. I was overly romantic too fast. Employing subtlety and timing with romantic gestures is critical to prevent coming on too strong.

In a short time I’m traveling with a woman and I have several romantic gestures planned, some small and some bold. Last week, I asked her if she thought she would enjoy me doing romantic things on our trip. Her response has confused me. She said she would definitely like it, but she has NEVER experienced anything like it from a guy. Uhhhhhhh… I’m struggling with her response for several reasons.

Am I a hopeless romantic or just a geek? Maybe I’m a lost romantic? Maybe I was a Musketeer in a former life. I’ll keep you posted.

Love Entry #15

I enjoyed Sarah #1’s company twice last week. I do like her. She’s confusing but interesting, and I’m still having a difficult time trusting her. We will be traveling together soon, and I’m sure that will be revealing.

I would appreciate any of your advice.

Dating’s like a Horror Flick: There’s a lot of Ghosts.

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

In the past 36 hours. I’ve been ghosted twice. I had plans to have dinner last night with woman on a first date, and at the last minute, she cancelled. This was the second time she has needed to “reschedule.” I saw her today briefly, and she was adamant we need to reschedule. I was pleasant and kind to her. I am not angry, and actually I was very tired last night. Now I have zero desire to try again. (Is that my bruised ego talking? Not sure.)

I asked another woman who I’ll soon be traveling with to call me tonight. I had something I wanted to ask her, and little did she know, I wanted to offer to do something incredibly sweet for her prior to our trip. She texted and said she would call me back shortly. Since her pattern of behavior is to not call me at night (that’s a whole suspicious story on its own, but I have my theories), I didn’t expect her to call. Sadly, I was right. What she will never know, after having time to consider it, I’ve decided not to spend the money (and it was good amount) on a deeply romantic special surprise. (Again, is that my bruised ego talking? Still not sure)

On a positive note, my breakfast date (first date as well) did show up as she said she would. Funny thing though, I was fully expecting her to cancel. It was a nice surprise when she arrived as planned. We had a great conversation, and things went well. We are scheduled to see each other again net week.

This has led me to a not so new or brilliant epiphany.

I,Hopeless Romantic, do solemnly swear that I will with all the woman I date in the future DO WHAT I SAY I’M GOING TO DO!!!

If I commit to something, I’m going to do it. I will ensure that I’m not one of the men out there ghosting woman. I want to be a person that the future love of my life can count on. My word will be more certain than death and taxes. This is one way in which I will demonstrate to woman that I respect them and their time.

Though I will run into more ghosts as I go through this journey, I myself will not be an apparition.

Love Entry #12

7 of 10, Day 15. I did go to breakfast with Nurse Betty #6 this morning. We had a nice conversation, and she seems very authentic and down to earth. We have plans to go out again, but if I’m being honest there was no spark. She’s crazy cute, and looks like she could be on the cover of Vogue Nurse, but after one breakfast, I’m not sure there is enough fire there for her to be my muse.

On another note, the Lion struck again! I have a business acquaintance (let’s call her Lucy #7) that called me today. She and I have not had much face-to-face interaction, and she called to ask me for a favor. I obliged, and provided her with information that would have been very difficult for her to obtain on her own.

I’ve always found her to be beautiful and intellectually sharp. If I’m being totally vulnerable, I’ve also felt she was a little out of my league. In the spirit of living fearlessly, I said to her, “Lucy, I would like to take you to dinner, not as business colleagues, but on a date. What do you say?”

There was a long pause. It was probably only a second, but it seemed like five minutes, and my negative self was already preparing for the worst. Then she said, “I would love to.” We put a date on our calendar for next week.

Here’s the crazy thing. A couple of months ago I randomly saw her at a restaurant. I walked over to her table where she sat with a friend and said “hi”. We talked for a minute, and I left. She told me today, that when I saw her back then, she told the friend that she wished I would ask her out. Who knew???

The Lion is the King of the Jungle. It’s good to be King!

I would love your thoughts!

When is a Woman “Stunningly Beautiful”?

Please Help Guide me on My Journey

Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart once famously quipped about the topic of obscene pornography, “I know it when I see it!” After reading a response to an earlier post from “Writer with Words,” this question has besieged by thoughts. This leads me to a bigger question, “What do I find Stunningly Beautiful?”

Like Indiana Jones searching for the Holy Grail, I spent my entire day seeking to understand what I see in a women that makes her “Stunningly Beautiful.”

As I’m working out at my high-end overpriced gym, a woman walks in with beautiful blonde hair, full makeup, a perfectly coordinated Lulu Lemon outfit that showed her well toned abs, and a strange ability to text between each exercise. I suspect she had augmented breasts, and it was obvious she’s dedicated significant time and effort into her fitness routine. Though she was very pretty, this is not who I see as stunningly beautiful.

However, to the woman in the plain white long-sleeve shirt, the ponytail, no make up, who was intensely focused on her workout, listening to her head bopping music too loud, and who smiled slyly, proud of herself for finishing her set of deadlifts, you are stunningly beautiful!

I value authenticity. She was not trying to be someone she wasn’t. She was in that gym for herself. There was no pretense about her. Her enjoyment of her music while moving her head to the beat was alluring. It demonstrated a fun side, someone I would like to take dancing. Her display of self-satisfaction with her minor accomplishment showed confidence. She screamed of a woman who looks into the mirror and barks, “You go this!” and means it.

To the woman who I’ve known for years, who served me breakfast at the club this morning, who recently changed her hair color, who has always gone above and beyond to help me, and who affectionately told me and my guest to “Fuck off then” after I made a funny/chastising comment toward her, you are stunningly beautiful!

I value spunk and confidence. I value a woman who speaks her truth. Who tells it like it is, but also cares for me and others so much that she would go WAY out of her way just to make my life better.

To the woman from Hawaii who took my lunch order, with her sun and moon tattoo, who recently split from her boyfriend, who loves to surf, and after I said I surfed in Costa Rica, flirtatiously quipped, “I wish someone would take me to Costa Rica to surf”, you are stunningly beautiful!

I value adventure and flirtation. I’m adventurous, and I’m attracted to women who are as well. A woman that has the confidence to flirt is a huge turn on. It shows a playful fun nature.

Finally, to the woman in the short skirt that once seductively informed me on a date as we sat eating a meal at a fancy restaurant, “I just thought you should know, I’m not wearing any panties.” you are stunningly beautiful!

I value a woman who knows when to be naughty. After she made that comment, I could not concentrate. I’m not sure I could remember my own name, but she had me wrapped around her little finger.

My learnings today about “Stunningly Beautiful” has little to do with appearance. Don’t get me wrong there are superficial things that I find both attractive and unattractive, but “Stunningly Beautiful” comes in all shapes, sizes, hair color, heights, and looks.

Love Entry #11

6 of 10, Day 11. In the jungle, the mighty jungle ,the Lion was on the hunt! I spoke to a stunningly beautiful woman today. Get this, I met her while I was getting gas. I walked up to her said, “I’m happy to pump your gas for you, so you don’t have to, and all I want is to have a fun flirty conversation with you. What do you think?”

At first, she had a very constipated look on her face as she processed my request, and then she said, “Sure, why not.” We chatted for over 15 minutes. She’s a nurse, so we will refer to her as Nurse Betty #6. She sadly recently broke up with her boyfriend which of course I felt soooo sad about. At then end of our conversation, I asked her if I could take her out for ice cream. (That seems so much more fun than coffee or lunch.) That made her laugh, and she said, “Sure, I love ice cream.” She gave me her number, and the rest is history!

The Lion roared and the jungle shook!!!!

When Dating…Is a Promise not a Promise?

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey.

I’m old school. I grew up in the great State of Texas, a southern boy with Texan parents. (Be careful putting labels on me because of my origins. Texans have a reputation that is often inaccurate.) Though my dad didn’t always follow his own advice, I was taught a Promise is a Promise. I was educated in brutal fashion to the consequences of breaking a promise. It’s apparent to me that the World has passed me by like a horse drawn carriage, an 8 track tape or a MAPSCO . There’s not many left who live by the cannon of chivalrous code that promises are sacred.

I’ve tried to educate my own kids on the same edict, but the world tells them promises are a casual commitment and not something the entirety of your character is founded upon. My way of thinking has become a relic in a lost culture.

That leads me to a problem. I made a promise to a wonderful fourteen year old, and under no circumstances will I break it. I’ve asked her to release me from this promise, but my request has been denied. That promise does negatively impact my search for the woman of my dreams.

“I made a promise to a wonderful fourteen year old, and under no circumstances will I break it.”

When I do find someone to date, I want a woman who will value a promise like I do. I want a woman who’s authentic. I want a woman who tells me the most intimate, most embarrassing, most erotic, most hurtful and most meaningful thoughts that stir in the depths of her soul. She does this with the fearlessness of a wild Conquistador because I’ve made the ultimate Promise, never will I judge her thoughts, and I will use my superpower of curiosity to explore the beauty and uniqueness of her spirit.

So I scream a Barbaric Yawp (A Reference From the Movie Dead Poet Society) requesting the presence of You the woman of my dreams who will also keep her Promises. A woman who lives authentic, honest and fearless along side me. A woman who will promise to guard my crazy thoughts and allow me to also fearlessly share with her all that is me.

Love Entry #9

Ok, I am now thoroughly convinced Sarah #1 is just not that into me. I know what it feels like for a woman to be into me and this is not it. It sucks since very soon I’m taking her on an elaborately expensive four day adventure. I believe she is ecstatic about the trip, but not necessarily being with me. My feelings of being taken advantage of are running amok again. I suppose I need to just get over it, have a good time on the trip, and expect it to end when we return. (Wow, that’s negative! That’s somewhat unlike me. I’m must be more frustrated than I realize.)

I desperately tried to find a woman to approach, but alas there were no antelope in the Serengeti to be found today.

WHERE’S THE ADVICE???????????????

Do We Even Know What Love Is?

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

I personally know a man who died for a woman because he loved her beyond anything “a flea like you could never begin to understand.” (Excuse the quote from the great Movie Second Hand Lions.)

It was both a tragic and beautiful Love story. He was diagnosed with a debilitating and long-suffering disease, and his health began to degrade. He needed a lot of aid to do simple things. He could not bare the thought of the woman he loved more than anything in the world imprisoned and unable to live her best life because she was stuck caring for him.

She would have gladly and happily done anything for him. She loved him in a way that very few people ever experience the miracle. On a gloomy day, he took his own life. The suicide note was horrific but sadly beautiful.

The last words in his scribbled cursive read:

I want you to see the world and to go to all the places that I would never be able to take you. I have only ever loved you. Not one day that we were together was a bad day. The thought of being without you hurts me but the thought of you being stuck taking care of my dying body every single day hurts me more. I love you so much and I will prevent you from living a happy life. God will forgive me, and you must too. I’ll be waiting for you just inside the gates of Heaven.”

Know one knows I kept the letter after the police returned it. Please don’t judge me, but on certain occasions for various reasons, I remove this note from its secret hiding place and read it. I always cry.

I always cry because I miss him for he was a great man. I always cry because I wonder if there was anything I could have done to stop him. I always cry because I’ve never witnessed two people love each other more beautifully. I always cry because I’m getting older, and I fear I may never know a love this powerful. I always cry because it happened several years ago today.

Love Entry #8:

Today, I have nothing to report. I worked from early this morning till fairly late, so there was no opportunity!

As of this writing Sarah #1 has not contacted me today nor I her. If Sarah #1 called (which she never does; she only texts.), I would not tell her what today represents to me. I’m not comfortable being that vulnerable with her yet. (Strangely, the only person I’ve told is you.)

This is one of those days, I wish I had someone in my life that would call me with the sincere desire to just learn how my day went. I might reply, “It was a long day but uneventful.” I would give little detail as my work requires me to be somewhat secretive. (No black ops government stuff, if that’s what you’re thinking.) Then she would ask to come over, and I would say “yes.” At some point I would tell her about the note and what today represents, but not today. However, just her presence would make my day a little better. (I told you I’m a Hopeless Romantic!)

I’M STILL WAITING FOR MY FIRST COMMENT!

A Hopeless Romantic with a Hero Complex is BAD for Dating

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

I save people all the time. Not in a heroic fireman, police officer, doctor, soldier sort of way, but I regularly impact people’s lives for the better. My job and my colleagues lend itself to having incredible resources to help people.

By know means am I altruistic. I flood my self-worth by flying in as the non-caped superhero (because a cape would be weird) to save the day. We don’t need to get into the psychological ramifications of this, as I’m acutely aware of my issue.

My hero complex is especially bad when dating. Some women are drawn to me, when I swoop in and save them in a challenging, difficult or dire situation. I am sometimes drawn to women who need saving. However, I’m realizing that more and more I feel they’re taking advantage of me.

Once they get a taste of my desire to help them, they all too subtly or sometimes overtly ask for more. It starts with either, “You’ve done so much for me, so I would never ask for anything else, I’ll figure out how to ….. on my own.” Or, “You’ve done so much for me, and I hate to ask for something else, but…”

I realize I cause all of this. Many of them seem so appreciative, but their constant desire for my help becomes a turn off for me. This is especially true as I start feeling I do all the giving, and she does all the taking. Another scenario, even worse for me, occurs after I help them. I become dispensable, and they return to the man that treats them like camel dung. Either way the hero falls from grace.

Love Entry #7:

I spoke with Jane #2 at the gym today. We are supposed to have dinner next week. We’ll see if it happens, but I’m slightly surprised she rescheduled. It was her idea. (So you’re saying there’s a chance.)

I sent Goddess Kat #4 a DM yesterday. There’s been no response. That’s ok, she may have had a boyfriend or something else. At least that’s what I am telling myself.

4/10 day 7. I’m still on track. The Lion strikes again! There was a beautiful woman sitting at the coffee shop today alone at a two person table. The place was almost completely void of other patrons. In a dashingly confident almost “Super Spy” sorta way, I grabbed my drink and without uttering a single sound, I sat down across from her.

She had a surprised look on her face and her eyes opened really wide (Or maybe it was a look of terror, I’m not really sure). I said, “I’m terribly sorry, but do you mind if I sit here, I cannot find anywhere else to sit.” She slowly turned her head looking around the room and then turned to me and busted out laughing. She was incredibly kind and ridiculously beautiful. She told me, “You have made my day, and any other time I would love your company, but my boyfriend is on his way here. I’m afraid he might not like you sitting here.”

I laughed and cursed my luck. I briefly lamented over “all the good ones are taken.” She laughed and slyly commented, “Maybe next time.” I doubt she meant it, but her sweet remarks made me feel good. With a disingenuous look of shock, I said, “Oh look, another table just opened up.” She laughed out loud again.

I kindly removed myself from her table. I sat down for a few minutes as my previous plan had been to leave immediately after acquiring my drink. Just as I was about to leave, A behemoth gorilla of a man covered in tattoos and having the muscles of Greek God lumbered in. His face was unfriendly with a scoured countenance, and he exuded the kindness of a rabid Pit Bull. Guess who???

After saying a prayer to the God Almighty, thanking him for my timely removal from her table, I decided to leave the establishment quickly. As he stood at the counter unable to see either of us, I exited. When I did, she smiled and gave me a small wave with her fingers goodbye. Though on this day, the lion was not triumphant on his hunt, her little gesture made it all worth it!!!

(Though the Lion is the King of the Jungle, I’m not sure how it would fare against a giant gorilla!)

I’m still looking for someone to provide ME my first piece of advice…

Alone in a Desolate Sea of People

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

As a manly man from the South, it’s hard to admit that I’m lonely. I don’t think I could utter those words to someone else. It’s not that I don’t have people around me, I do. As I reveal more about me in days and weeks to come, you will find that I’m surrounded by people and predominantly women. Sadly, that does not impact the loneliness.

My search for a companion is gaining clarity, but finding that compatible lost sole in this massive sea of deception is both daunting and exhausting, I am looking for a purely authentic, unwaveringly honest (at least with me), insanely adventurous, overly kind and stunningly beautiful woman who can challenge and inspire me to live my best life.

If I find her, I will give myself over to her as well as the world and all that’s in it. (As long she appreciates this gift and me.)

Oh, and she has to put up with me and be accepting of my baggage and relationship timelines. (More to come about that later.)

Is the description of what I want in a woman the rarest of unicorns?

Love Entry: #6 (Huge Update!)

When you last saw me, I was writing my blog. Sarah #1 was drunkly passed out in my bed and something bad may have happened to her. Fast forward to the next morning. I was up already on my computer working. She refused to tell me what really happened the night before. We did engage in a conversation that was somewhat awkward. (The conversation was probably premature and I think I handled it awfully.)

I have neglected to mention that in the next month Sarah #1, and I are supposed to travel on a 4 night excursion together. I’ve already bought her plane ticket. I tried, though very poorly, to explain that I don’t want drama, I don’t want lies, and I only want to chase after a woman that wants me to chase her. I think I failed miserably in getting my points across.

She did tell me, “I want you to chase after me.” She also said,” I was the most intriguing person she had met in a long time.” I have an uncanny ability (next level, scary mind reading type mentalist abilities) to tell when people are not being completely honest. Most people don’t believe me, but it is an incredible gift, it makes me highly effective at my job, and it’s an exhausting curse because people lie ALL THE TIME!

I think those 2 statements were mostly honest, but I know she’s not being honest about other things. Should I even care at this point? Here’s my problem. 1) I kinda like this girl. She fits a lot of what I’m looking for. 2) I’m not sure I can ever really trust her, as I don’t believe she can ever be 100% honest with me. (Insert massive sigh and slight dejectedness here!)

This is making me withdraw from her.. WHAT DO I DO?

ANY COMMENTS OR ADVICE???

Women thy name is Drunk

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey…

I was speaking with a close female friend today. She lamented about a women’s online group she’s involved where they tell horror stories about how awful men treat them. They are literally begging to find men who treat women well.

I think this is one of life’s greatest conundrum. If you treat a woman wonderfully, respectfully, with great care, and with ravenous passion, they seem to get bored with you quickly. You are too easy to possess and in my experience, this turns women off. And…It’s frustrating to watch men treat women like rhinoceros excrement and watch these high-powered confident women by day keep coming back over and over to these men at night. (Maybe I’m saying this with a slight twinge of frustration.)

I’m in search of a woman who will accept with a high degree of appreciation a passionate, romantic, kind, on some occasion charming man. I want a woman who will worship the ground I walk on and in complete fairness, I will worship hers.

Love Entry #5

3/10 sorta. I cannot make this stuff up. Here is my life and my luck with women. I’m traveling. I’m staying in a nice hotel, and tonight, I’m all by myself with no one to join me for dinner. I find a great restaurant, sit at the bar, and the bartender is a Goddess. (Let’s call her Kat #4). I adored her. We had an engaging conversation. We connected. We even added each other on Instagram. I was a lion in the Serengeti stalking a most beautiful antelope.

Did I mention that Sarah #1 was supposed to meet me tonight??? She told me yesterday, we would go out when I got in town. After not hearing from her all day, she informed me, she was in town but had a “business” event she had to attend. She told me she would come see me at the hotel after, and we would have a drink. I was not holding my breath!

Back to the bar… I’m having an intense but poetic conversation with the Goddess, and my phone rings. (Dun Dun Da!) Its Sarah #1. She is sobbing uncontrollably where I can barely comprehend her, and she begs me to pick her up at a bar twelves miles away. So what do I do??? (This is where you say, “No he didn’t!)

You guessed it, I jumped in an Uber (I had been drinking) and went to pick her up. After getting her in the Uber, she’s sobbing and telling me something really bad happened. I’ve asked her all these questions. I don’t know if some guy dumped her, if she was raped or if someone hit her. It’s all so confusing!!! I call a female friend, and she speaks with her. She becomes incoherent. I think she may have been given a drug.

She is passed out, fully clothed in a diagonal position across my entire King sized bed as I’m writing this. I will get clarity in the morning and take her to the hospital, the police or home depending on what I uncover.

Don’t judge me on how I am handling this, but I’m all ears for your advice.

I need your advice. Please chime in!

The Gruesome Broken Heart

Please Help Guide Me on my Journey

I’ve had my heart torn apart twice. The first time, the perfect women of my dreams died. It forever changed the course of my life. My soul shattered in an instance. She and I fit together like perfect puzzle pieces depicting an epic sunrise. The second time I loved a woman she committed my deadly sin, she lied. It was about something stupid, but it cured my blindness to the brutal truth that she would never love me the way I loved her. All these years, they are the only two.

There is this connection when “True Love” exists that is more powerful than anything in this universe. It is my contention that most people never experience the grandeur of this love even once. My curiosity seeks to understand if can I find this Love in again another woman that has the capacity, courage and vulnerability to love me with the same all-consuming passion that I love her. Stay tuned for the conclusion of this wonderful love story or soul-crushing tragedy.

God has a funny, mysterious, beautiful and sick way of going about things.

Love Entry #3:

2/10 on day 2 of my challenge. Again I was a Lion! I approached a women sitting at the bar tonight of a local restaurant. We exchanged phone numbers. She was not my usual type with the exception of being a former college athlete, and I’m not 100% sure she’s not a Lesbian. If she is, we still had an engaging conversation. We didn’t make future plans, but I have her number.

My negative self-talk told myself she thought I was too old for her or too male, but who knows? The facts are: I approached her with courage and fearlessness.

ANY ADVICE??? OH, AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS POST, I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET…

Fearlessness, Courage, Stalking & Creepers

Please Help Guide Me on my Journey

I want to live as a lion! I want to be fearless! I desire to approach women with extreme courage. In most areas of my life, this is exactly how I act. However, when it comes to approaching women, I lack the same courage and fearlessness. I fear being looked upon as a nuisance. I also fear the Jimmy Kimmel, “Ewe.”

Instead of feeling like Joey saying, “How you doing.” I feel more like Chandler saying, “blah, uh, um, blah.” I get the psychological fear of rejection, but it’s still that sting when you receive her look that says she thinks you’re a Creeper.

Here’s my challenge to myself. I am going to approach 10 women over the next 20 days. I will do it with the courage of a samurai. If I don’t get thrown in jail, I’ll keep you posted. Wish me luck!

Love Entry #2:

1/10 — Chalk one up for the Lion! I approached a woman at the gym today who I somewhat know. I’m not sure I can handle her because she may very well be stronger than me. Her abs are definitely more defined than mine as my abs are defined by the several layers of fat distributed across them.

In my most confident fearless way, I said, Hi Jane #2 (not her real name). I want to buy you dinner. Would you be open to that. She looked at me, smiled and said sure. We immediately put a date on the calendar, but my schedule is ridiculous, so it’s two weeks from now. Let’s see if it sticks.

On another note, I spoke with Sarah #1 from the last post (also not her real name). We had a good conversation. We may go out in a couple of days. We will see if it holds. I told her tonight I had a hard time trusting her. It has nothing to do with her. I have a hard time trusting any woman. There are some deep wounds of tragedy there. More to come on that later.

ANY ADVICE??? OH, AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS POST, I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET…