Tag / Romance

by Hopeless Romantic

Death, Lies and Baggage

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

I don’t believe in luck! I believe we make our own luck in life. I can show countless times this has rung true in my life. However, if I did believe in luck, I might conclude I’m ridiculously unlucky in love.

I was recently accused of feeling sorry for myself as it relates to a failed relationship. The harsh reality was they were right. That doesn’t make the bitterness of the statement coupled with the woman who delivered it any easier to swallow.

As I explore this concept of Love with the detective skills of Sherlock Homes, I’ve learned the majority of single people feel unlucky in love but are somewhat optimistic their luck will change soon. The people who feel they have actually found their soulmate feel incredibly lucky, and have completely wiped the early bitter challenges of relationships from their memory. Those poor creatures in relationships that are not their soul mates, feel trapped, lonely and angrily the most unlucky people in existence.

Many people don’t realize what they want in love until they’re stuck in a relationship, and have sadly learned all the things they don’t want.

Here’s my strange conclusions from my extensive detective work. There is an innate fear in us that makes us so wickedly scared we’ll never find our true soulmate that we settle for anyone who is close. In many cases, these relationships end poorly.

However, there is an even worse fate. It is those unlucky souls who end up with a person you undoubtedly believe is your soul mate, but that person doesn’t feel the same way. The strange dichotomy is this means they are not your soul mate. When this occurs, it sure feels like the cold dark universe is out to get you.

There is an innate fear in us that makes us so wickedly scared we’ll never find our true soulmate that we settle for anyone who is close.

I have lost two women I’ve loved. One died in a horrific head on collision. This forever gouged a small piece of my soul which will never grow back. The second committed one of my two cardinal sins, “Never ever lie to me!” This impacted my ability to trust others, that I’m working on.

As for the baggage, that’s a story for another day. I will add this cliffhanger: My current baggage is preventing me from being with my soulmate. (Cue the Dun Dun from Law & Order.)

Love Entry #19

It was a bad day. I won’t go into detail, but the positive this will allow me to get back to my soulmate search. I know she is out there, and I will remain undaunted, unwavering and undeterred until I find her. Giddy up!!!

I would appreciate your wise counsel on this matter.

by Hopeless Romantic

Love is Color Blind: Including the Color Red in Flags

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

When it comes to love, why do we ignore red flags? Why do we go after love and make the same mistakes with a partner. I’ve never understood how a woman could leave an abusive relationship only to enter another one with the same consequences. Though I don’t understand it, I must admit that I may be about to do the same thing. 

Don’t get me wrong, my personal brand of Love Tea is not abuse, however I’m afraid I’m about to drink the same love potion that eventually led to the downfall of my last relationship. 

“The heart wants what the heart wants.”

We make excuses for our stupidity with phrases like, “The heart wants what the heart wants.” What my heart wants is love and romance, and I keep finding ones who act like my ex. Can someone explain this to me? 

I see some red flags in a budding relationship, but the facts are clear, I like her. The practical and logical thing to do is run for the hills and begin a search for another. For some strange reason, I desire her, red flags and all. Though I’m a creature of habit, this is too important to fall into another bad relationship.

This is my quandary. So the saga and the circle continues…

Love Entry #18

I found someone I like. That’s not true, I found someone that with a little prodding I could easily love deeply. Her baggage and my baggage appear to make things highly unlikely. It’s a shame. It is amazing how close we come to happiness only to let life and baggage get in the way. It brings tears to my eyes.

Please offer your help. I’m all ears!

by Hopeless Romantic

It’s Over! Bring in the Funk

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

It’s official. I’m in a funk. (Cue sad song now.) Something negative happened with someone I’ve been dating. There’s not much I could have done differently, but I do take full responsibility for it. I didn’t think I liked her that much, but It appears to be over. Now, I’ve had one full day of the Funk. You know what I mean. It’s that day where I get to feel a little sorry for myself. I get to pout. It’s where you hear a certain song and it makes you tear up.

Interestingly, I think I’m more upset of the thought that she had the makings of someone I want long-term than the fact it ended just as it was getting interesting. Even stranger, there were a lot of red flags that probably made it not a good fit. I’ve had other relationships end quickly, and they did not spark a Funk. Why this one? What makes this different? It’s perplexing.

These things happen all the time, and when I was younger I used alcohol and partying to drive away the Funk. At my age, It’s best to just spend a day sulking.

Tomorrow is a new day, and my Funk should be over. I’m not sure what I’ve learned from this except, I’m deciding right now that the Funk will not carry over to tomorrow. (Cue Rocky Music)

Love Entry #17

The above tells it all. However, I’m still looking for a dance partner. (See “The Dance and My Crazy Idea”)

by Hopeless Romantic

The Dance and My Crazy Idea

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

One of my all-time favorite artists, Garth Brooks once sang in his song titled, “The Dance”:

And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I’d have had to miss the dance

In what seems like a former life, I was an exceptional dancer. This was not imposed on me by over-zealous artistic parents. I was in college when I first decided to learn how to country dance. I took lessons at a country bar many miles from where I lived. I didn’t want anyone to know I was taking them.

It wasn’t because I was ashamed of taking lessons, because even then I knew that wooing women partially derived from the element of surprise, and a man that could dance was a big surprise.

I was at a country bar with a group of friends who on a whim decided to go, which was not a common activity for us. In this friend group was a woman I wanted so desperately and felt she was soooo beautiful and soooo out of my league that when I was with her I couldn’t remember my own name.

We were standing at the bar with our drinks. Some of our group had already bravely but awkwardly attempted to dance. I waited patiently trying to exude an air of apprehension. Then it happened. There are perfect moments in life when the stars align so beautifully, you couldn’t recreate the circumstances if you tried.

The woman I was poorly and foolishly trying not to completely gush over, looks at me with her big green eyes and says, “Do you want to give it a try?” This moment left such an imprint on me, I still remember the song, “Neon Moon” by Brooks and Dunn. For weeks, I’d prepared for this very moment.

I sat my drink down, grabbed her hand, and I think I said, “I’ll give it a whirl.” At least that’s the line I’d been practicing. I proceeded to twirl, spin and dance her all around the floor that night. Every woman in our group wanted to dance with me, and every guy hated my guts. I knew when I was singing Garth’s “The Dance” in her ear and she pulled away to look me in the eyes, I had won her over. We would date for many months after. All because of The Dance.

After that I took every dance lesson I could find. I learned the Salsa, Tango, Jitterbug, Swing, Waltz, Foxtrot, Cha Cha, and others which I have now mostly forgotten.

Now for the CRAZY IDEA! (Duh Duh Duh)

I’m on a focused mission to locate an adventurous woman (that I date or not) to take dance lessons with me. I’ll pay for all the lessons. I want to get back to surprises like casually walking into a salsa club in Miami, strolling into a swing dance club in LA, or meandering into a country bar right here at home. Now if I can only find the perfect companion…

Love Entry #16

Nothing to report. Today was overly busy with work.

I appreciate any of your advice.

by Hopeless Romantic

The Slow Death of Romanticism

Please help guide me on my journey.

I live in the wrong era. I think I would’ve been better suited to live in the days of the Musketeers where honor, chivalry and romance were coveted and admired. There was a time when the gift of words like poetry were a symphony of romance to a woman’s ears, but today it’s often chastised as a laughable gesture.

I like holding the door for a woman to enter a building. I like opening the car door for a woman. This may sound completely crazy but on occasion when greeting someone I’ve been dating, I like softly taking her hand and kissing it. A women once told me that makes me “archaic.” I don’t do it because a woman is incapable or that they’re weaker, I do it out of respect and admiration and to show them how much I value them.

I believe when I’m walking with a woman, I should always stand between the woman and the street, just in case. I believe when we sleep at a hotel, I should always sleep closest to the door, just in case. I believe when dining at a restaurant, I should always sit facing the door, just in case. In my many years on this earth, none of these things were ever necessary, nor have I discussed them with women. However, chivalry and romance are not always acts to be announced. I will continue to do them, just in case…

I can reasonably afford to buy a woman whatever gift she wants within reason. I can easily send flowers which at times is a noble gesture, but in my mind has become cliché. However, on a recent date, a woman in her mid 30”s casually informed me that no one has given her flowers since high school. I was so floored by her statement that I sent her three dozen roses the next day, and I’m not even that interested in her. (I do like to make a splash though! Is that wrong?) It’s just a travesty that romanticism has lost its way.

There is one element of romance that caused a major failure with a woman I really liked. I was overly romantic too fast. Employing subtlety and timing with romantic gestures is critical to prevent coming on too strong.

In a short time I’m traveling with a woman and I have several romantic gestures planned, some small and some bold. Last week, I asked her if she thought she would enjoy me doing romantic things on our trip. Her response has confused me. She said she would definitely like it, but she has NEVER experienced anything like it from a guy. Uhhhhhhh… I’m struggling with her response for several reasons.

Am I a hopeless romantic or just a geek? Maybe I’m a lost romantic? Maybe I was a Musketeer in a former life. I’ll keep you posted.

Love Entry #15

I enjoyed Sarah #1’s company twice last week. I do like her. She’s confusing but interesting, and I’m still having a difficult time trusting her. We will be traveling together soon, and I’m sure that will be revealing.

I would appreciate any of your advice.

by Hopeless Romantic

When is a Woman “Stunningly Beautiful”?

Please Help Guide me on My Journey

Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart once famously quipped about the topic of obscene pornography, “I know it when I see it!” After reading a response to an earlier post from “Writer with Words,” this question has besieged by thoughts. This leads me to a bigger question, “What do I find Stunningly Beautiful?”

Like Indiana Jones searching for the Holy Grail, I spent my entire day seeking to understand what I see in a women that makes her “Stunningly Beautiful.”

As I’m working out at my high-end overpriced gym, a woman walks in with beautiful blonde hair, full makeup, a perfectly coordinated Lulu Lemon outfit that showed her well toned abs, and a strange ability to text between each exercise. I suspect she had augmented breasts, and it was obvious she’s dedicated significant time and effort into her fitness routine. Though she was very pretty, this is not who I see as stunningly beautiful.

However, to the woman in the plain white long-sleeve shirt, the ponytail, no make up, who was intensely focused on her workout, listening to her head bopping music too loud, and who smiled slyly, proud of herself for finishing her set of deadlifts, you are stunningly beautiful!

I value authenticity. She was not trying to be someone she wasn’t. She was in that gym for herself. There was no pretense about her. Her enjoyment of her music while moving her head to the beat was alluring. It demonstrated a fun side, someone I would like to take dancing. Her display of self-satisfaction with her minor accomplishment showed confidence. She screamed of a woman who looks into the mirror and barks, “You go this!” and means it.

To the woman who I’ve known for years, who served me breakfast at the club this morning, who recently changed her hair color, who has always gone above and beyond to help me, and who affectionately told me and my guest to “Fuck off then” after I made a funny/chastising comment toward her, you are stunningly beautiful!

I value spunk and confidence. I value a woman who speaks her truth. Who tells it like it is, but also cares for me and others so much that she would go WAY out of her way just to make my life better.

To the woman from Hawaii who took my lunch order, with her sun and moon tattoo, who recently split from her boyfriend, who loves to surf, and after I said I surfed in Costa Rica, flirtatiously quipped, “I wish someone would take me to Costa Rica to surf”, you are stunningly beautiful!

I value adventure and flirtation. I’m adventurous, and I’m attracted to women who are as well. A woman that has the confidence to flirt is a huge turn on. It shows a playful fun nature.

Finally, to the woman in the short skirt that once seductively informed me on a date as we sat eating a meal at a fancy restaurant, “I just thought you should know, I’m not wearing any panties.” you are stunningly beautiful!

I value a woman who knows when to be naughty. After she made that comment, I could not concentrate. I’m not sure I could remember my own name, but she had me wrapped around her little finger.

My learnings today about “Stunningly Beautiful” has little to do with appearance. Don’t get me wrong there are superficial things that I find both attractive and unattractive, but “Stunningly Beautiful” comes in all shapes, sizes, hair color, heights, and looks.

Love Entry #11

6 of 10, Day 11. In the jungle, the mighty jungle ,the Lion was on the hunt! I spoke to a stunningly beautiful woman today. Get this, I met her while I was getting gas. I walked up to her said, “I’m happy to pump your gas for you, so you don’t have to, and all I want is to have a fun flirty conversation with you. What do you think?”

At first, she had a very constipated look on her face as she processed my request, and then she said, “Sure, why not.” We chatted for over 15 minutes. She’s a nurse, so we will refer to her as Nurse Betty #6. She sadly recently broke up with her boyfriend which of course I felt soooo sad about. At then end of our conversation, I asked her if I could take her out for ice cream. (That seems so much more fun than coffee or lunch.) That made her laugh, and she said, “Sure, I love ice cream.” She gave me her number, and the rest is history!

The Lion roared and the jungle shook!!!!

by Hopeless Romantic

The Dating/Relationship Epidemic No one is Talking About

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

I have learned something disturbing over the last few months of trying to find new female friends. There’s an epidemic far worse, more damaging and more widespread than Covid or Monkeypox. This epidemic has a severe impact on dating and relationships. It’s also manifesting in our every day lives in ugly ways with complete strangers.

If you’re reading my Love Entry Chronicles at the bottom of each post, you will remember I’m attempting to fearlessly approach 10 women in 20 days. However, I have another more covert Mission that I’m also trying to complete as well.

I was at a coffee shop today. The beautiful woman who took my order had incredibly elaborate eye makeup that looked like the beginnings of a costume for a performance in Cats. She and I had an engaging conversation while she took my order. I got my drink, sat down and worked for about an hour.

Upon leaving, I walked back to the counter. She asked me how she could help me, and then I said:

“You are absolutely beautiful the way you’ve done your eyes. If you were not wearing that make up, you would still be absolutely beautiful. However, what is even more beautiful is your personality. Have an awesome day!

Her face and eyes lit brighter than the Texas sun. She thanked me, and I believe she was on the verge of tears. I walked out.

I do not frequent that coffee shop nor do I expect to ever see her again. Missing in her life was not a boyfriend or a date, or some guy like me flirting with her. What she was missing was ENCOURAGEMENT! And right now we live in a world that is virtually absent of it.

Yesterday, in a drive-through I frequent, I expressed to the women at the window, “I always enjoy seeing you in the mornings, because your beautiful personality is soooo infectious, and seeing you in the mornings makes me happy!.” She cried! She’s starved for encouragement.

So, I challenge all of you hopeless romantics, word smiths , authors, experts, bloggers, readers and writers of truth, for the next seven days everywhere you go seek out those souls who are starving for a morsel of encouragement and tell them something specific, honest and beautiful about them. This will change the world!

Love Entry #10

“I’m now thoroughly convinced Sarah #1 continues her minimal texting with me to go on my adventure. I’m sure we will still have fun, but I’m no longer putting the mindshare of romantic gestures into the trip.

5 of 10 day 10. The Lion roared and then whimpered off like a kitten. I did approach a gorgeous woman today who was probably too young for me, but I needed to get another one in to stay on target. I crashed and burned like like an enemy plane in a Maverick movie. That’s ok, I’m still in the game.

The challenge for me is not maintaining the fearlessness but finding potential prospects. I will work on putting myself in better situations.

by Hopeless Romantic

When Dating…Is a Promise not a Promise?

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey.

I’m old school. I grew up in the great State of Texas, a southern boy with Texan parents. (Be careful putting labels on me because of my origins. Texans have a reputation that is often inaccurate.) Though my dad didn’t always follow his own advice, I was taught a Promise is a Promise. I was educated in brutal fashion to the consequences of breaking a promise. It’s apparent to me that the World has passed me by like a horse drawn carriage, an 8 track tape or a MAPSCO . There’s not many left who live by the cannon of chivalrous code that promises are sacred.

I’ve tried to educate my own kids on the same edict, but the world tells them promises are a casual commitment and not something the entirety of your character is founded upon. My way of thinking has become a relic in a lost culture.

That leads me to a problem. I made a promise to a wonderful fourteen year old, and under no circumstances will I break it. I’ve asked her to release me from this promise, but my request has been denied. That promise does negatively impact my search for the woman of my dreams.

“I made a promise to a wonderful fourteen year old, and under no circumstances will I break it.”

When I do find someone to date, I want a woman who will value a promise like I do. I want a woman who’s authentic. I want a woman who tells me the most intimate, most embarrassing, most erotic, most hurtful and most meaningful thoughts that stir in the depths of her soul. She does this with the fearlessness of a wild Conquistador because I’ve made the ultimate Promise, never will I judge her thoughts, and I will use my superpower of curiosity to explore the beauty and uniqueness of her spirit.

So I scream a Barbaric Yawp (A Reference From the Movie Dead Poet Society) requesting the presence of You the woman of my dreams who will also keep her Promises. A woman who lives authentic, honest and fearless along side me. A woman who will promise to guard my crazy thoughts and allow me to also fearlessly share with her all that is me.

Love Entry #9

Ok, I am now thoroughly convinced Sarah #1 is just not that into me. I know what it feels like for a woman to be into me and this is not it. It sucks since very soon I’m taking her on an elaborately expensive four day adventure. I believe she is ecstatic about the trip, but not necessarily being with me. My feelings of being taken advantage of are running amok again. I suppose I need to just get over it, have a good time on the trip, and expect it to end when we return. (Wow, that’s negative! That’s somewhat unlike me. I’m must be more frustrated than I realize.)

I desperately tried to find a woman to approach, but alas there were no antelope in the Serengeti to be found today.

WHERE’S THE ADVICE???????????????

by Hopeless Romantic

Do We Even Know What Love Is?

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

I personally know a man who died for a woman because he loved her beyond anything “a flea like you could never begin to understand.” (Excuse the quote from the great Movie Second Hand Lions.)

It was both a tragic and beautiful Love story. He was diagnosed with a debilitating and long-suffering disease, and his health began to degrade. He needed a lot of aid to do simple things. He could not bare the thought of the woman he loved more than anything in the world imprisoned and unable to live her best life because she was stuck caring for him.

She would have gladly and happily done anything for him. She loved him in a way that very few people ever experience the miracle. On a gloomy day, he took his own life. The suicide note was horrific but sadly beautiful.

The last words in his scribbled cursive read:

“I want you to see the world and to go to all the places that I would never be able to take you. I have only ever loved you. Not one day that we were together was a bad day. The thought of being without you hurts me but the thought of you being stuck taking care of my dying body every single day hurts me more. I love you so much and I will prevent you from living a happy life. God will forgive me, and you must too. I’ll be waiting for you just inside the gates of Heaven.”

Know one knows I kept the letter after the police returned it. Please don’t judge me, but on certain occasions for various reasons, I remove this note from its secret hiding place and read it. I always cry.

I always cry because I miss him for he was a great man. I always cry because I wonder if there was anything I could have done to stop him. I always cry because I’ve never witnessed two people love each other more beautifully. I always cry because I’m getting older, and I fear I may never know a love this powerful. I always cry because it happened several years ago today.

Love Entry #8:

Today, I have nothing to report. I worked from early this morning till fairly late, so there was no opportunity!

As of this writing Sarah #1 has not contacted me today nor I her. If Sarah #1 called (which she never does; she only texts.), I would not tell her what today represents to me. I’m not comfortable being that vulnerable with her yet. (Strangely, the only person I’ve told is you.)

This is one of those days, I wish I had someone in my life that would call me with the sincere desire to just learn how my day went. I might reply, “It was a long day but uneventful.” I would give little detail as my work requires me to be somewhat secretive. (No black ops government stuff, if that’s what you’re thinking.) Then she would ask to come over, and I would say “yes.” At some point I would tell her about the note and what today represents, but not today. However, just her presence would make my day a little better. (I told you I’m a Hopeless Romantic!)

I’M STILL WAITING FOR MY FIRST COMMENT!

by Hopeless Romantic

Women thy name is Drunk

Please Help Guide Me on My Journey…

I was speaking with a close female friend today. She lamented about a women’s online group she’s involved where they tell horror stories about how awful men treat them. They are literally begging to find men who treat women well.

I think this is one of life’s greatest conundrum. If you treat a woman wonderfully, respectfully, with great care, and with ravenous passion, they seem to get bored with you quickly. You are too easy to possess and in my experience, this turns women off. And…It’s frustrating to watch men treat women like rhinoceros excrement and watch these high-powered confident women by day keep coming back over and over to these men at night. (Maybe I’m saying this with a slight twinge of frustration.)

I’m in search of a woman who will accept with a high degree of appreciation a passionate, romantic, kind, on some occasion charming man. I want a woman who will worship the ground I walk on and in complete fairness, I will worship hers.

Love Entry #5

3/10 sorta. I cannot make this stuff up. Here is my life and my luck with women. I’m traveling. I’m staying in a nice hotel, and tonight, I’m all by myself with no one to join me for dinner. I find a great restaurant, sit at the bar, and the bartender is a Goddess. (Let’s call her Kat #4). I adored her. We had an engaging conversation. We connected. We even added each other on Instagram. I was a lion in the Serengeti stalking a most beautiful antelope.

Did I mention that Sarah #1 was supposed to meet me tonight??? She told me yesterday, we would go out when I got in town. After not hearing from her all day, she informed me, she was in town but had a “business” event she had to attend. She told me she would come see me at the hotel after, and we would have a drink. I was not holding my breath!

Back to the bar… I’m having an intense but poetic conversation with the Goddess, and my phone rings. (Dun Dun Da!) Its Sarah #1. She is sobbing uncontrollably where I can barely comprehend her, and she begs me to pick her up at a bar twelves miles away. So what do I do??? (This is where you say, “No he didn’t!)

You guessed it, I jumped in an Uber (I had been drinking) and went to pick her up. After getting her in the Uber, she’s sobbing and telling me something really bad happened. I’ve asked her all these questions. I don’t know if some guy dumped her, if she was raped or if someone hit her. It’s all so confusing!!! I call a female friend, and she speaks with her. She becomes incoherent. I think she may have been given a drug.

She is passed out, fully clothed in a diagonal position across my entire King sized bed as I’m writing this. I will get clarity in the morning and take her to the hospital, the police or home depending on what I uncover.

Don’t judge me on how I am handling this, but I’m all ears for your advice.

I need your advice. Please chime in!