Please Help Guide Me on My Journey

I fear I use unrealistic “Love Tests” to see if a women is into me. When I don’t get the response I expect, I either push the woman away out of fear she doesn’t really like me or find things wrong with her, so I will push her away. Did I mention I don’t trust very well?

I have this weird aversion to chasing after a woman. It’s never worked out well for me. Therefore, if I use these little tests, then I can feel better when the subject passes them. If they fail them then I can better guard my heart. Either way it’s both sad and detrimental.

Love Entry #4

Speaking of Love test…I texted with Sarah #1 today. Something bugs me and maybe it shouldn’t, but it just does. I ask her today, “How was your day?” I don’t ask her this everyday, but I’ve asked her several times. She never asks me that question back. Is she too self-absorbed? Is she just not that into me? Does she not really care?

What’s weird is most of my days are good to great. I rarely live a bad day. However, recently I had an awful day, and so did she. I ask her about her day, maybe hoping she would ask me too. I listened all about difficult situation. I asked good questions. I acknowledged her feelings of frustration and fear were valid. After all of that, she never ask me back. Am I being a big pansy because I want her to care about my day? It sure feels that way.

She failed the test.

IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE? WILL SOMEONE GIVE ME ADVICE?